An Un-PC Month and an Un-PC Mare
Welcome to February, nothing was written for a while as we had quite a tough month in January and mum didn’t feel that we should be reporting anything as she called it Black January, normally she said its Black January as she is paying off a huge credit card bill from Christmas, however this year she is still paying off a huge credit card bill but it not for Christmas shopping!
It seems that the bus for horsey heaven kept coming round the block to pick up a few friends, must be good there cos none of them ever come back. The entire cast of Bell Equine have all played a part at the yard and my mum reckons we have managed to cover the wages bill there for a month, she is hoping they do necter points and a loyality card, although she would skip the home delivery anytime.
We said goodbye to Ellis and Bertie not long after Boysi, and we hope they are having a fab time wherever they may be and hope they missed the snow which was ever so cold on my toes!
Percy, Tilly, Brandy and Chloe have all been coughing for Hickstead, poor old Chloe has got horsey asthma so Ruby really needs to mind her manners about her farting, after all, we all get old one day and controlling bodily functions do not come that easy, the older you get. Chlo said she is feeling better, particulary now she has moved into a double aspect condo, Ruby’s to be precise, she is SSOOOO upset about that! At least Chloe can stick her a**e out the window now and save her shame. Percy had a trip to the clinic…. some said it was the STD clinic but thats just a cruel rumour. Seems the silly bugger has a ‘chronic cough’……. thats what it said on his Doctors sick note, he has been signed off for 4 weeks…. 4 WEEKS! FOR A COUGH!!!!!!!! Mum said private health care is not as good as the NHS as they don’t live in the real world. He is still shuffling round his stable in his slippers demanding to watch Philip and Fern, mum said while he was off he could catch up on some reading .. particularly the new dressage tests that have come out for 2009. Anyway, talking of dressage.. YAWN.. I went out and strutted my heels for the first time this year…. mum said I’m not allowed to talk about that either………. anyway, it was nice to get out and meet up with some chums, Black Mama and the Ginger Ninja… Apparantly, the GN is seeing the Doc on Tuesday, but he just has to wiggle his bum and stick his toes out for and hour and a half in front of him.. not sure what is going on there.
Tilly has been poorly too and seems she has been suffering from the same cough as Percy, some say it wasn’t airbourne connected either that she has the same bug, so I wonder what they have been up to? Answers on a postcard please. Brandy was coughing for a while but seems to have got over it before the doc could see her, reckon being 17 she didn’t want the Horsey Heaven Express bus coming back for her, she even rodeoed round her box when the dentist came to do everyone’s teeth just to show she wasn’t a pushover, gave us all a laugh and a few pointers for the next time he comes towards us with that rasp. And Pippa??????? Well….. A double page spread in a local mag…… Percy said it was called Loaded and she took her rug off, but turns out he only ever got a single page write up in the same mag so I think a little bitterness may have creeped in, anyway, her and the girls were so excited when it came out and partied 2 nights in a row. Apparantly she is getting another write up next month, a local celeb I think, she hasn’t done much since it came out except get her nails and hair done and keeps talking about her agent and what jobs she is going for, she reckons come 2012 with the right experience, she will be able to open the olympics alongside Katie Price. Hope she can get us some free tickets to get in!
Anyhow, we do have a new recruit on the yard, and Big Black Mama needs to meet her understudy, informally known as Nog, heard a lot of other nicknames, but I got told it was un-pc and wasn’t allowed to write about that either! She won’t be here for long as she is getting sold but she is a little mover and shaker!
So upwards and onwards into 2009 and lets hope we have endured the bad luck for at least the next 5 years! And lets hope we get some new friends in soon, Pippa is so loud these days will be nice to hear from a newbie!
Take care all in this cold weather and blog to you soon xx
February 12, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Bless you Barney dear, oops, sorry, Blarney, for my little mention – yes it was little old me in local rider. However, whatever Percy says, I certainly did NOT get my rug off. I know I might spend hours standing down at the far end of the field waving at the two boys down the road but I am not THAT type of girl!! And the pictures of me stopping were TOTALLY staged – I had to make sure they got some action shots.
There has been some talk of me going off to the jungle for the next series of some celebrity tv show but quite frankly I really don’t have the time.(Percy did offer to pay my air-fare, but only one way….). There are some seriously good days hunting coming up and I’v got to polish my ballet shoes for a spot of dressage…. I rather like it actually – gives me a chance to wiggle my bottom and eye up any talent! lol!
February 13, 2009 at 6:03 am
Hi Blarney
Keep forgetting to email you as Im so busy up here. Very sorry to hear about the horses going to horseyheaven.. dont mention that word to my mum or she will start crying. My mum is skint too.. she is working on a showjumping yard and mucks out 12 horses a day. She has promised me that she mucks my stable out the best though – Im very jealous… My brother Presto is still all bandaged up – over 4 months now and the vets bill is unreal.. the vet actually comes out once a week to re-dress his leg.. I hide at the back of my stable – dont like vets very much. I had a lesson from a scottish international showjumper last week. Mum found him quite hard to understand and he kept shouting at her. Anyway, I showed him a thing or two and had quite an audience. I gallopped off with mum at the end – twice around the arena.. she got shouted at again !! I think my mum may be paying you a visit soon, well when she has more than a fiver in her purse. I think she misses Silverhill and the Rifleman !
See you all soon, roll on summer.
Tom xxx
February 21, 2009 at 9:10 pm
I’ve sussed it – I may be big and black, but have found my brain cells (they only speak Dutch, but Gingerninja has translated). Get rid of the link on your website!! You have a direct line into those expensive people who give sicknotes and take my mates off to the big field in the sky. Remove the link and they won’t know where to find you. I’m brilliant, I am.
February 24, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Hello,
Ruby here again. Chloe tried to wrestle the laptop off me but I held on to it. She’s evicted me from my stable so she can wait her turn to have her say on here.
I was a bit concerned that the horsey heaven bus was working it’s way down the line towards me, even more so when I swapped stables but it seems to have found a different route and hasn’t been here for a while. Hooves crossed it stays away now.
I’ve got a new neighbour. Not quite the sleek hot to trot young toyboy colt I requested but he seems a pleasant enough chap. Chloe doesn’t speak to me now she has her double aspect stable (did I mention it was mine and I was evicted – wait til I see that vet – it was all his idea). She spends most of her time looking out of her new window with her backside facing me, but at least the medicine and the fresh air seem to have done the trick and she’s stopped coughing and farting now.
Chloe went off and left me at home the other day too. First time since we’ve moved in. I’ve heard whisperings that it’s my turn to go to where she went next and I could be in for some pretty serious work. Hmmm, will have to flutter my eyelashes and hope that’s enough to make them go “aahhhh, she’s so pretty” and be so taken by how beautiful I am they will forget all about work. Chloe reckons that won’t wash with this lady but we will see …
February 24, 2009 at 6:35 pm
I am sooooooooo excited – I’m getting NEW SHOES tomorrow!!! I hope they’re pink and sparkly with high heels… neigh!!!!!!